During the period of dating and a few years of marriage you think you are in real love with your partner. You think that you are both made for each other and that you are the perfect couple in the world. After a few years have gone by, you may have children by then and become more responsible and sensible. Nevertheless something is missing. Yes, the spark of love has disappeared. Why?

Real love means living for each other without any expectations from him/her. But in real life there seems to be no real love. We soon get attracted to physical elements and other social factors and chase after financial status, character building, and education and so on.

However after years have gone by after marriage you come to realize that your partner is not living up to your expectations.

There is yet another selfish factor which affects a relationship. We expect our partner to be the perfect person, though we do not try to be perfect ourselves.

There was a man who wanted to marry a perfect woman. He went in search of her from east to west and north and south across his country until he was seventy years old.

One of his friends asked him whether he did not meet his perfect woman all these years. He told him that he saw a perfect woman only once. His friend instantly asked him why he did not marry her then. He replied, “She wanted to marry a perfect man”

If you are successful in finding real love with your spouse then you can extend this love to your children, relatives, friends, other people, animals, plants and finally the Universe, that is God.

So, my dear friends, its quite simple, cultivate a close relationship with your spouse and share real love for it is the first step to reach God.

CAN A LOVE LAST FOR A LIFE TIME

Preaching is always easy but to follow the good qualities in daily life is not that easy. You need to have a strong and mature mind to forgive the mistakes of others. Forgiving is a powerful tool which really helps to save a marriage, a love relationship, a partnership in a business, a friendship and many other relationships.

Are we willing and ready to forgive those who make mistakes and affect our happiness or progress in life? No, we are not at all ready to forgive. On the other hand, we often criticize their mistakes and destroy the relationships. It does not mean that we never forgive anybody.

We do forgive our children whatever mistakes they commit. Why is it possible for us to forgive the bigger mistakes of our children while we cannot forgive even the ordinary mistakes of others? It is because we consider our children as part of our body and soul. We are ready with excuses to forgive ourselves very easily even if we make great mistakes in our lives. Similarly, we can forgive our children, as they are a part of us.

We started to forgive our children when they slapped our cheeks with a shining smile when they were infants. We became used to forgive our children from that stage onwards.

The surprising fact is that we cannot forgive our spouses as we do our children. After all the spouse is the one whom we unite with body and soul. The spouse is the one who is going to be with us through thick and thin until the end of our life. Yet how many of us can forgive the better halves if they commit serious mistakes?

I shall put it in a very simple way now. You need abundant love with somebody to forgive him/her. Now my question is why many persons cannot forgive their spouses? Don’t they have real love in them? Or is it just the chemistry of lust only works between them? I will leave it to you to answer.



Let us begin our sincere love with the spouse, extend it with our children, parents, relatives, friends, others, animals and the Universe. Life will be more peaceful, joyous and meaningful then. Remember forgiving is the best giving.

Swamy Sivananda was a famous philosopher and learned man. People used to visit him to get his advice in solving their problems in life. Once, Raja-lingam a typical family man visited him to seek his advice. He looked sober and confused.

He then said, “Sir, I come from a conservative family. I expect my children to be perfect in all aspects. Therefore I have to be very strict with them sometimes. On the other hand, my wife is very soft and is very lenient in her approach in upbringing the children.

Now my three children have all grown up and none of them care for me. They hate me as though I am their enemy. They don’t even respect their mother. We are worried and at this old age, I live fretting for their love and peace.

Swamy was having some holy water in a small vessel. He said, “I’m going to pour some water in your palm now. You have to stretch your palm open and hold the water” Raja lingam was unable to hold the water.

Then he said, “You can close your palm when I pour water this time”. He closed his palm quickly but, even this time he could not hold the water. Then he said, “Now you keep your palm half open and try”



Obviously, he was able to hold the water this time.

Swamy said,” this is the secret. You have to be tough enough to make them do their duties and live with good morals and soft enough not to lose their love.

That’s how we should raise our children to have them succeed in life without losing their love for you.

When the Buddha was on his mission spreading his principles, he traveled to many villages in India. Once when he was camping in a village he was insulted by some people who used bad words. One of his disciples became furious and when he was about to react violently, the Buddha who was cool, advised him against abusing them. When the disciple asked him why he should not react to them, the Buddha said, “if you think there is no truth in what they said about me, then it is better we should ignore the matter. If there is truth in their allegations then we need to accept their abuses.” That is how Buddha managed the insults.




Another great personality was Mahatma Gandhi, who during his freedom fight against the British Government once, was thrown into jail. The jailor who did not know about Gandhi’s fame and power kicked Gandhi. During his term in jail, Gandhi made a beautiful pair of shoes and presented it to that jailor at the time of his release. The jailor was taken aback and when he came to know who Gandhi was, he fell at Gandhi’s feet and cried.



Everyone knows that Mother Teresa was a great friend of the sick, destitute and poverty stricken masses. This incident was in the early stages of her life, and at that time she was not too well known. While trying to raise some funds for the children in her ashram, she spread her open palm to a businessman in Kolkatha asking for a donation; the businessman became annoyed and spat on her hand. Mother Teresa calmly said, “You have given my share, now please give me something for my children who are starving.” He was moved by her reaction and cried bitterly. He donated a big amount, became Mother Teresa’s admirer, and afterwards always supported her projects.





It is amazing to note how these great people were able to put aside the insults thrown at them and get on with their mission. That is why they became great and famous.